On Mother’s Day: For Those of You Who Do Not Have Children

If you do not have children, and find Mother’s Day a painful reminder of that, I am here to hold your hand.

Maybe you have nurtured and, yes, mothered people, but no one counts you as a mother, because you do not have children.

Maybe you have taken yourself for granted, and not even realized how many lives you have warmed … even in a brief encounter, smiling at a stranger on the bus or in an elevator, and very likely, changed the entire course of their day.

How many times have you reached out a hand, yet no one celebrates you on this day?

Perhaps you continue to celebrate your own mother, yearning to have children but not sure that will ever happen … who understands this?

I want you to know that I do.

Maybe you were born male, but identify as female, and no one ever appreciates you on Mother’s Day.

I want you to know that I do.

Maybe you have had a stillbirth, miscarried, had an abortion … or worse … and, if anyone knows, they don’t know what to say. Especially today.

I say to you, with tears in my eyes, and a tender ache in my heart, I see you, I feel you, I appreciate you. You are beautiful. You are important. I care about you on Mother’s Day.

It is impossible that you have never mothered anyone,

so if you want to savor that title today, I say to you, “Thank you for your kindness, your nurture, your unsung deeds. Happy Mother’s Day.”

To those of you who have never given this a thought, please, think about it now. Open your heart to someone who may need to hear, “Happy Mother’s Day.” Look in their eyes when you say it, and show them you mean it.

We all need to be celebrated.

What about those of us who have nurtured and given selflessly but never had children, for one reason or another? What’s the name of the day that celebrates us? Maybe we should come up with one.

In the meantime, give the sweetest, most delicious gift you can give today … “Happy Mother’s Day” to all who deserve it — not just the obvious choices.